I was taken off guard the other day. A simple little comment was made but laced with disdain and judgement  – oh, you live there…I thought you were a little more granola than that.

It set me off my rocker and on a deep verbal rampage, of the silent kind, where I came up with a thousand come backs for the next time anyone decides to put me in a box and label me as such. Not a single qualifying question was asked as to why I chose this place to plant my flag, what my affiliations are…nothing. We live in a country, a melting pot of diversity but we still all too often place people into a gross generalization because they meet one small criteria. Why is that?! No person is solely defined by any one characteristic, the color of their skin, where they live, etc. We represent all the colors in a bag of skittles, the full glory and sum of our experiences, good and bad.

How easy is it to write people off, make assumptions and classify…it’s as if it’s safer that way. It creates a place where one’s own personal ideals, no matter how irrational they may be, are free to run rampant, unquestioned and uncontested.  But shouldn’t we stop and ask, pull back the curtain to see how other people think? One might find a whole array of reasons, completely beyond that initial assumption, for why people choose to do certain things, why they think the way they do, where they choose to live, etc.

Let’s review the absurdity of that remark and how it can translate to other areas of my life. I am many, many things but one could say…

Because I am a woman – I am weak, emotional, hysterical, whiny, critical and superficial

Because I am an artist – I am starving, moody, disorganized, have no business sense and am inept at math

Because I am from Texas – I own cowboy boots, speak with a strong accent, ride horses to/from work, carry a weapon, vote republican and love BBQ

Because I am Mexican – I am an immigrant, have a thousand relatives, speak Spanish, live off of bean and cheese tacos, receive a welfare check, and have dark skin

I am some of these things, but not all and definitely not most. I do not fit into any one perfect box, align with any stereotype or prescribe to any rule that suggests I act, eat, pray or lean in any one direction. How about we all agree to look at everyone for what positive attributes they bring to the table and recognize that a little diversity is the spice of life… I purposefully put more of a negative spin on the above…mainly because that’s how I was treated the other day. That’s what makes assumptions, stereotypes and labels so asinine. But there are two sides to every coin and I could’ve said this…

Because I am a woman – I am strong but feminine, a multi-tasker, considerate, passionate, and nurturing

Because I am an artist – I am free-spirited, imaginative, colorful, full of life, see magic in every bend of the road and naturally curious

Because I am from Texas – I am loyal, friendly, full of state pride, and enjoy long car rides

Because I am Mexican – I am a hard-worker, family-focused, full of personality, and make a mean guacamole

In today’s political climate where everything is so extreme (and for the record, the comment that set me off was a political jab), it seems that everyone is on one side or the other and those of us sitting uncomfortably in the middle, looking out with horror and a little outrage, have lost our voice to the deafening fight from Team I’m Right and Team You’re Wrong. When will everyone realize that between black and white are a thousand shades of grey?

We will never get anywhere until we can a) determine that no one will ever be 100% happy and b) recognize that each party taking two steps towards the middle will aid in all of us moving forward. Seriously, is this how everyone engages with arguments with their spouse? They are only in it to win it? What about compromise? What about taking time to actively listen to the other side. One may not like it, but it may open the door to a new way of thinking about things, a different perspective. (Or at least understand why there isn’t an easy solution and why collaboration and cooperation are critical to progress.) Perhaps you might learn something or two about your neighbor, friend, co-worker instead of blasting that person into the them category.

RANT OVER.

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Quotes to make one think:

When people rely on surface appearances and false racial stereotypes, rather than in-depth knowledge of others at the level of heart, mind and spirit, their ability to assess and understand people accurately is compromised. ~ James A. Forbes

A stereotype may be negative or positive, but even positive stereotypes present two problems: They are cliches, and they present a human being as far more simple and uniform than any human being actually is. ~Nancy Kress