Dog owners will understand…

The day after Thanksgiving, we said goodbye to our sweet, baby girl. Awesome and I don’t have children. Our four-legged fur baby was the only one. And while we didn’t dress her up in clothes (although she did have snow boots) or take her on plane rides, she did accompany us everywhere else. We fondly referred to her as our love child.

It’s taken me awhile to write this. My heart is broken and time slowly marches forward as if everything is the same. But it isn’t.

I’m feeling very much like Peter Pan who has lost his shadow as she followed me everywhere. I couldn’t get up from my chair without her rising to move in my direction; always at the ready.

For thirteen years.

It’s so quiet now. Out of habit I’ll stop for a moment as if I’m forgetting something. My morning and evening routines shift into a new rhythm, almost too effortlessly. Yet still, I instinctively look in her direction expecting her to look back at me with those amber eyes and sense of connection.

But even though she’s gone, I’d swear there were glimpses of her out of the corner of my eye. Heard the tapping of her paws across the hardwood floors. If I truly believe everything I’ve been reading over the last couple of years, I know she isn’t really gone; just passed into another dimension. I’d like to think she finds little ways to let me know she’s okay and anxiously awaits our reunion when the time is right.

I’ve spent the last several weeks milling through the archives of old photos. Often, I would take her on my photo adventures and she would weave her way into the frame, even if that wasn’t the intent. Just like these pieces…