The Other Side
For a good part of my life I’ve been pushing the limits in the physical sense at every step in the road. My first race was a marathon. No 5ks or 10ks to start off that journey. Go big or go home, I suppose. I endured shin splints so excruciating it took 30 mins of running before the pain subsided. I wrapped my shins every night in liniment oil to soothe those aching muscles. And I lost toe nails! 5 to be exact including the big one. (Talk about sexy feet during flip flop season!) But nothing was going to detour me from that path, even when someone kindly said to me…you know, no one will think any less of you if you decide not to complete the race.
But it mattered to me. To set that goal, train for it and cross the finish line completely wasted and exhausted with a smile on my face and a promise of Chicago style pizza as my reward.
The road has been paved with many other challenges since that day in 2003. And while maybe not as physically painful, they still required an unwavering level of focus and determination.
I wish I could say that all my endeavors are as steadfast or as resolute; however, and unfortunately, this seems to only hold true when it comes to conquering my own goals pertaining to physical fitness. Everything else is fair game.
As emotion takes over, fear settles in and makes a sweet little home in my head space. Shin splints heal as do toe nails, but that fragile little ego doesn’t recover quite as quickly. Rejection takes me back to the proverbial playground where I was last picked on the kickball team. (Yes, I sucked at team sports!) There is that tendency to want to belong and be accepted. Does that ever really go away? So the natural defense mechanism turns toward protection. Sadly, this results too often in the deer in the headlights mentality where dreams are routinely kept on the sidelines.
But really, deep down, what is there truly to be afraid of? And is that fear, be it the fear of rejection or of the bruised ego, worth the risk of living within the safe and ordinary?
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Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear. ~George Addair
Original Posting - Jan 2016
Yes, there has been a trend over these last few blogs. Fear is a constant. She goes hand and hand with inspiration and despite every effort of mine to eradicate her from existence, she sulks in the corner, constantly trying to whisper into my ear. I often have to turn the dial up on my playlist to drown her out. She believes whatever she is saying is in my best interests, after all, she's 100% about survival, whether it be physical, emotional or mental. But her constant chattering is getting really old.
Elizabeth Gilbert says it best in her book, Big Magic. She makes a pact with Fear every time she embarks on a new book and it goes like this:
"Dearest Fear: Creativity and I are about to go on a road trip together. I understand you'll be joining us, because you always do. I acknowledge that you believe you have an important job to do in my life, and that you take your job seriously. Apparently your job is to induce complete panic whenever I'm about to do anything interesting - and, may I say, you are superb at your job. So by all means, keep doing your job, if you feel you must. But I will also be doing my job on this road trip, which is to work hard and stay focused. And Creativity will be doing its job, which is to remain stimulating and inspiring. There's plenty of room in this vehicle for all of us, so make yourself at home, but understand this: Creativity and I are the only ones who will be making any decisions along the way. I recognize and respect that you are a part of this family, and so I will never exclude you from our activities, but still - your suggestions will never be followed. You're allowed to have a seat and you're allowed to have a voice, but you are not allowed to have a vote. You're not allowed to touch the road maps, you're not allowed to suggest detours; you're not allowed to fiddle with the temperature. Dude, you're not even allowed to touch the radio. But above all else, my dear old familiar friend, you are absolutely forbidden to drive."
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The view from the other side looks pretty spectacular.
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Behind the Scenes - The Other Side
It was a Saturday night and I received a text message from my friend and neighbor asking if I wanted to get up early Sunday morning to photograph down at the Dyke Marshes just South of Town. I could feel my eyes rolling and my shoulders tensing…how early, I quickly responded. 7am with a promise of coffee and a wake up call.
That morning proved to be one of the coldest thus far for winter. Luckily I didn’t pay attention to what degree until after the fact, otherwise, The Other Side might never made it into existence.
Brittany and I walked along and I remarked on how the cloudless sky really didn’t offer much for my kind of work but I was grateful to be up and experiencing something new, despite the cold. Then a bend in the road brought us to this tree. It sprawled like pointy fingers above the marsh with spectacular angles and I stopped dead in my tracks to stare. Brittany walked on. I spent the next 20 mins deciding when and how to climb this tree and if I could (having left my remote control at home, once again) set the timer for 20 seconds, 9 shots at 3 second intervals and manage to scale the tree quickly enough time to get one or two shots in under the buzzer. Yes, seriously, these are conversations I have with myself on more than one occasion.
But as luck would have it, Brittany made a very timely reappearance to aid in my plight and not risk a possible plunge to the icy depths of the frozen marsh. (Yes, it was 28 degrees that fine, brisk morning!)
Best part – an older gentlemen ran by then stopped in his tracks to laugh. He commented, this is about the 5th weirdest thing I’ve ever seen on this trail before! To which I stopped, mid perch and asked, oh really, what were the other 4? He responded indicating he once crossed paths with a woman walking around the park with a chicken in a box! So yes, a barefooted girl in a dress out on a limb perhaps wasn’t the strangest thing to happen in that park…but maybe just for that one day.
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