The Warmth

I was driving down the road the other day, pondering a situation that took me orbiting well beyond my comfort zone. The thought quickened my heart to a rabbit’s pace and made my palms slightly sweaty. To me, that’s always a sure sign I need to do whatever is making me feel this way. It’s happened on numerous occasions from public speaking, leading a workshop or most recently, getting ready to hike up the Manitou Incline and seeing the rise over run…truly, my short, little legs find it difficult to traverse when the rise is greater than the run…but I digress. 

That pit in my stomach had been gnawing at me for days as I  *accidentally forgot*  to drop my name in the hat by the deadline. Feeling remorseful, as I had intentionally missed out on an opportunity for self growth, but still too chicken to pull the trigger and fix my broken plight, I hung in silent, chaotic limbo. 

Then a song came on…. 

It’s one I’ve listed to before, many times. On repeat. You know the kind. The song is called The Warmth, by Incubus….one of my favorite bands, favorite songs. I listen to it at the gym. After watching the news. On a Tuesday. 

Remember why you came and while you’re alive 

Experience the warmth before you grow old

The warmth means different things depending on my day, my mood. My thoughts about humanity. But it’s timely appearance to my inner dialogue gave me the kick in the pants to overcome my fear and reach out. Which is exactly what I did. At the next stop on my southward excursion, I fired off a message. If there’s still a spot open – I’m in!  That’s not to say the mere idea doesn’t still scare the sh!t out of me, because it truly does. But the fear of regret rings louder in my ears. And if the magic truly happens when one ventures from the safe, dark confines of complacency, then maybe it’s time to bask in the sun.